Speeches by Nduati

Goldfish have indeterminate growth. What does that mean? Over the course of their lifetime, they can keep growing larger and larger and larger. The only limit is usually the kind of enclosure that they live in. So a goldfish in a typical home aquarium can grow to just about 5 centimeters long. However, in a large pond, it can grow to 10 times that size – up to 50 centimeters.

Human beings are like that. I don’t mean that phase I went through that I called the “Fat Robert” era, where everything I ate kept making me larger and larger. I mean in terms of personal development.

Let me use the example of when I coached a speaker to prepare a speech.

Over a couple of weeks, she rehearsed in front of me, and I gave her feedback. She prepared thoroughly. She then came to the club to deliver the speech, and something surprising and troubling happened. I was surprised because the audience laughed throughout that speech. On the other hand, while she was rehearsing with me, I never laughed even once.

It was troubling because, as I sat there listening to her speak, I realized that if she had asked me to help her prepare a humorous speech, I would have told her, “That is not your strong area. You need to give yourself a couple of months to get comfortable on stage before you try delivering a humorous speech.”

At that point, I realized that my own expectations—opinions I had developed from observing her—had become an enclosure that would limit her growth while I coached her.

I determined to change my approach to coaching. I would draw from my approach to wealth management.

Let me give you an example. Imagine a recent graduate who has just gotten her first job. They’re not making a lot of money. They come to me and tell me that they would like to save up for retirement.

The first thing we would do is talk about what exactly they would like their retirement to look like. Typically, we would determine that they need to accumulate several million by the time they retire.

If I were not experienced, I would stop at that point and tell them that they’re trying to have a champagne retirement on a Tella (a cheap Ethiopian grain beer) budget. They just don’t have enough money to fund that lifestyle.

But because of my experience, I’ve learned that the thing to do is to create a plan. Then the greatest impact I can have is to help them develop the habits that will take them from a 20-year-old who makes tens of thousands to a 60-year-old who has several million in investments.

Habits like living below your means, saving consistently, and then taking reasonable risks with the money that you are saving over time, because it’s going to grow.

It’s the same approach that I chose to adopt when coaching people. My job is not to limit them based on what I observe about their capabilities, but rather to help them develop the habits that are going to help them grow into the kind of person they would like to be.

So, using the example of that speaker whom I didn’t realize was funny, maybe what I would do differently would be to first encourage her to collect stories that she finds humorous. Then, like Rodas, over time, she should keep experimenting because, even though some of her jokes might bomb, if she keeps trying, she’s going to hit on material that really cracks people up. Finally, it would be for her to practice her speeches beforehand so that she can learn to get the timing of her jokes just right.

You’re not always going to be a coach to a person, but people are going to share their dreams and ambitions with you because they trust you. Don’t let your expectations become the thing that limits them. Like goldfish, people can grow in ways that you cannot expect or anticipate. Your job is not to tell them how big they can grow. Rather your role is to support them in their development—to encourage them as they develop the habits that turn them into people living out their full potential.