Speeches by Nduati

There are two reactions I usually get as I go about my day in Addis.

One is when someone starts speaking Amharic to me. They explain they did it because I kind of look local. But my wife doesn’t buy it. Once I told her, “The masseuse at the spa said I looked Habesha!” She looked at me and said, “The lies people tell to get a tip! Have they no shame?”

The second reaction? I’m clearly identified as a foreigner.  A few weeks ago, I took a cab. The driver pegged me as a foreigner right away. I told him I wanted to go to Ellily in Kazanchis. Thinking I had just landed in Addis, he took the long route—toward the airport.

At first, I let him be. I wanted to see what he’d do. But eventually, I got irritated and gave him directions myself the way that lady on Google maps does.

For years, that’s how many of my team projects ended: with me watching people do things wrong, getting frustrated, and eventually stepping in to take over. If the project was a movie, we would be racing somewhere and I would throw the cab driver out of the car and driving myself.

One Zoom meeting comes to mind.

I was speaking when suddenly a camera came on. A man—shirtless, smoking a cigar, looking like Andrew Tate—started talking. Then profanity exploded in the chat.

I had assigned someone to manage the Zoom. I watched him try. But like the cab ride, I got irritated and took the host rights back.

In that moment, I heard that old movie line in my head:

“If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.”

And maybe you’ve been there—micromanaging, backseat driving, doing it all yourself because you no longer trust your team.

But doing it all yourself isn’t the real solution.

As I’ve gotten older, my knees started sounding like a cement mixer. I told my trainer I was in pain. She said, “The problem’s not your knees—it’s the weak muscles behind them. Strengthen those, and the pain will go.”

She was right.

The conflict at the end of a project isn’t the real issue. The issue starts at the beginning—when people don’t speak up, don’t challenge your ideas, and don’t ask for help.

And who says “If you want something done right…” in movies?

Villains.

They’re surrounded by terrified followers who never give honest feedback. So right before the big showdown with the hero, no one tells the boss, “Hey… we never practiced our aim.” The bad guys miss every shot. They get taken out. And the villain storms in yelling that classic line.

After years of leading teams, I’ve learned this: If you want success at the end, you need healthy conflict at the beginning.

That means sharing your vision, stating your plan—and inviting disagreement. Listening when someone points out a flaw. Encouraging someone to admit, “I don’t know how to do this.”

When that happens, something powerful forms: trust. You no longer have to second-guess whether they’ll follow through—because they already pushed back, already questioned you, already engaged. They’re all in.

Your team isn’t like a cab driver you hired for a ten-minute ride. You’ll be working with them for a long time. Your success depends on allowing healthy conflict.

So Madame President-Elect, incoming ADs—next time someone challenges your plan, take a breath—and listen. Invite feedback. Make it safe to speak up, to be wrong, to ask for help.

In a team like that, you won’t have to do it all yourself.

They’ll want to do it with you.

Because when people trust you enough to fight you, they also trust you enough to follow you.